if you see me smoking spank me
March 26th, 2007
BEWARE THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS A MULTITUDE OF CLICHÉS
I didn’t have a cigarette today.
You are probably thinking to yourself “Oh well done you(!)” [in sarcastic tone], whether you are a smoker or non-smoker. More specifically non-smokers will be thinking “You shouldn’t have started such a nasty habit”. The Smokers are thinking “So fucking what. I don’t wanna read another rant about someone trying to quit. Don’t go down that road.” Sorry all, thats what I’m going to do, and continue to do until I get rid of this nasty fucking cough.
“Smokers cough, eh?”
“Eh, yeah”
Those are the words which were exchanged this morning during the fire evacuation between me and a colleague as I tried hard to keep my lungs inside my rib cage. Much coughing continued throughout the day. I felt so unhealthy.
I decided last week I was going to quit smoking, it has yet to happen. A week before that, the month before that – it was even my new years resolution! Although I have managed to cut down in the last few weeks – months even; I smoke normally no more than 10 cigarettes a day (aren’t I just great!), it’s still 10 too many.
Lets break it down to the most basic way I know how:
Advantages
- Sometimes it feels great, especially after a few drinks.
- I look cool (right?)
- Sociable. How many conversations have you sparked with people in designated smoking areas?
Disadvantages
- It costs too much
- I got this nasty cough
- I’m smelly
- Lying to the parents
- Having to go outside to smoke – its freezing most of the year (but it’s spring now and getting warmer!)
- Weight loss & loss of appetite
- Oh and all these reasons!
Guess what, I think there are more disadvantages!
In the past I have bought the Gum and I tell you now – do not try it! It gave me such a sore head. I still have plenty left, maybe I’ll give it another shot.
So why do I find it so hard to quit? Thats easy; what the hell am I going to do if I don’t smoke?? I generally smoke on the way to work, one or two at lunch time (only time I’m allowed out of the building during the day), one the way home from work, about 3 or 4 in the evening, plenty more at the weekend. Any time I leave the house, I make sure to have a cigarette, oh yeah, and in bars: one hand; pint, other hand; cigarette, with such a great combination you can never go wrong.
The hardest to give up; those couple at lunch time and when I’m drinking. Oh yeah, the ban.
I’ve been really looking forward to the ban since the date was first publicised many moons ago. Knowing that if I hadn’t managed to quit by the time it comes around (100% correct), it will only be a good thing for me. With the ban having been in place in the rest of Ireland, Scotland and most US states for a few years now, there have been both positive and negative reports: bars smelling like sweaty armpits and urine (“At our particular corner it smelled of old man and old man urine. Nice”), business sales drop, people being laid off from bars and restaurants, Guinness sales drop, children affected by more smoking at home , Ireland pubs closing
On the other hand: Air pollution levels drop, many lives will be saved, Bar staff will be healthier, better business in bars and restaurants, ban will encourage people to quit, less gamblers, none of this passive smoking crap.
So why would I want to come across so desperate on my own blog? Cos I wanna quit. By making this post I have a permanent reminder of my desperation.
“It’s a dead end job, and you gets tired of sittin’
And it’s like a nicotine habit you’re always thinking about quittin’
I think about quittin’ every day of the week
When I look out my window it’s brown and it’s bleak”
Paul Simon – Once Upon A Time There Was An Ocean
